Story Writing Challenge Update

Hello friends, Dillfinger is back with the writing challenge update. The story I chose to look at today is written by Miss Chloe. I will be looking at the rest of the entries and sharing them over a period of time; however, right now I have multiple exciting challenges, stories, and other posts I need to work on (all on top of my daily writing).

Hello again Miss D.! This story I have titled Dreamed realities. I may have taken a bit of liberty on your setting but I hope you like it.

I stood on the mountain and watched as the sunrise started on the horizon. Penny came to stand beside me.

“You know it’s going to be a hard fight right?”

I closed my eyes. “Yes but it’s going to be worth it.”

“Maria. Maria Clarington.”

My eyes opened to see my light blue room and my green eyed, messy haired boyfriend standing in the doorway.

“Everyone is in the car.” He informed.

“Oh.” I said, blinking and shaking my short blonde hair to clear my mind. “I’m right there I promise.”

“So it’s not going to be fifteen minutes because you got lost in a new story idea?” He teased, smiling.

I glared at him. “No. I’m actually coming this time.”

I closed my laptop and slipped it into the backpack on the floor before zipping it up and throwing it over my shoulder. I followed Jonah down the stairs and grabbed my water bottle off the table as he went out the door.

I fished for my key in the side pocket of my backpack before looking at the door and seeing it hanging from the lock. Smiling because my friends knew my forgetfulness all too well, I swung the door closed as I walked out and locked it. I pushed on the door to make sure before spinning and walking to the car.

“Nice to see you finally join us.” My older brother snarked as I plopped in the seat behind him.

I rolled my eyes at his brown hair popping over the seat.

“Ash she wasn’t even five minutes.” My best friend Madison Rock chided from the seat next to me. She swung her long black, braided hair.

“Was it another idea?” She asked

“Yeah.” I muttered.

Ashton rolled his eyes and turned to Jonah, who was in the passenger seat.

“I don’t know what you see in her.”

“Sometimes neither do I.” Jonah grinned at me.

“Hey!” I exclaimed and hit his shoulder.

Madison joined in, “Well if you say that then why in the world did you plan this trip to Europe?”

“I uh.” Jonah stuttered. “It sounded like a fun trip.”

“Ok is this trip ever going?” Ashton interrupted.

“Yes if you start the car. We can talk while you’re driving.” I quipped

As Ashton started the engine and we pulled out of the driveway I pulled out my headphones and laptop. I had another idea to write down.

We boarded the plane as soon as we arrived at the gate. It seemed that everything from the moment we got to the airport went wrong.

The parking lots were packed. The lines were horrible. I had forgotten I hadn’t taken my pocket knife out of my backpack and all our bags had to be searched. Finally the signs had us all confused so we ran up breathless as the last of the passengers were getting on. Needless to say none of us were to happy as we found our seats plopped into them.

I glanced around at the other passengers only to find I couldn’t really see many people.

'That’s strange' I thought. 'Where is everyone?'

Soon we were taking off with our rather empty flight and the next few hours passed in quiet busying as we all payed attention to whatever we brought on the plane.

Suddenly a loud clunk came from the plane and immediately I felt a shift as the plane lurched to one side. The conductors voice came over the com.

“It seems we have lost one of the engines.” He said. “Please head to the emergency exists.”

I unbuckled my seatbelt and got up before running towards the nearest door. It burst into flames as I approached and I screamed.

“Ria.” I heard Madison’s voice. “Are you ok?”

I blinked at looked at her before glancing around the car. Jonah was looking at me with worried eyes.

“Yeah I’m fine.” I said. “Why?”

“You just screamed.” Ashton said from the front seat. “Scared the heck out of me.”

“Oh sorry.” I muttered. “I must have got caught up in the story.”

Madison looked over at my screen.

“Are you trying to make yourself afraid of flights?” She asked.

“Nope.” I smiled and shut my laptop. “But I think I’ll take a break from writing.”

Everyone laughed.

~Chloe

Chloe, this story is amazing! I love how you interpreted the guidelines that I gave you. I think that you did a great job writing in first person, but you should be careful not to slip in and out of past and present tense. Loved the story!

Keep writing!

-Dillfinger